From 1 May 2016, MASTERCHEF is upon us once more. Last year's flavours of Billie McKay, Reynold Poernomo and Georgia Barnes have gone on to respectively write columns in Delicious/apprentice at The Fat Duck, open a dessert restaurant, and tour the country to do in-stores. Now we get a chance to follow the journey, the tears, the loud pants and obscure cooking terms with a whole new set of amateur cooks, potentially getting dirty drunk in the process.
We can always rely on Gary, George and The Hamburglar to hit certain marks on screen. This year, there's the addition of Nigella as a guest judge, so we know that the series will be replete with innuendos, luscious creamy bits, gorgeous golden globules and enough decadence to get the contestant's equipment bulging over the rims.
For the purposes of this, we recommend a mid-strength beer. If you choose to go with spirits or something stronger, we can't be held responsible for the damage caused to yourself or others. (But feel free to send us photos of the results, because that'll be hilarious).*
Take a sip when:
- The "Journey" is mentioned
- George bounces up and down on the balls of his feet
- George eats as though it's his last meal
- Something is "the best we've ever seen in the history of MasterChef"
- A contestant reaffirms how much harder they have to work after scraping through a previous round
- A tuile is made or mentioned
- Gary wants more seasoning (but really means salt)
- Someone drops something, signalling disaster
- "I've never worked with [insert ingredient/environment/equipment] before..."
- If the sufficiency of the remaining cooking time is questioned
- Family is mentioned
Finish your drink IF:
- A contestant cries
- The Death Dish arrives
- When the tense half-minute after "The person going home tonight is…" finally breaks
- During memorable dish montages
- There is hopeless name-dropping
IF THE GOAL IS TO GET SUPER DRUNK:
- Matt declares "Your time starts now"
- There's gratuitous product placement
- There's a shot of a clock
- Whenever Matt's pants burn your retinas
*Always drink responsibly